Maybe I should stop hoping. Stop looking for the good in others. Give up.
But I can't. I know there is good in all of us and I like to think that if I really try, I can help bring it out for people. I'm expecting too much from myself. I'm expecting too much from others. I can't save everyone...
But if it's someone I care about, shouldn't I want to do whatever I can? It would be so much easier if I could just stop caring; turn off my emotions and take a step back to see if I'm really helping or just hurting them and myself more than I had ever intended. I can be so blind at moments like this.
Someone snap me out of it. I can't change people. I can't be the savior anymore. I've hurt myself enough times trying. So why do I keep doing it?
The feeling of being needed, I suppose. I want it. No. I need it. I need to be needed. And it's causing more destruction than anything at this point.
I'll learn eventually, I suppose. I just wish it would be sooner rather than later.
Unfortunately, no matter how much I try to talk myself out of it, I always find some reason to do it anyway.
I'll figure it out.
"Are you reeling in the years? Stowing away the time? Are you gathering up the tears? Have you had enough of mine?"
-Steely Dan.
No comments:
Post a Comment