Yup, that's me lately. Pretty much all I do. Make up crazy scenarios in my head, willing them to come true. Well. Maybe not crazy. Just the things I want most. I've always done it, but recently, my fantasizing has gotten a lot more...intense. I play them over and over. Not always at the best times...
Like sitting in class. Or at the dinner table.
I think people have started to notice. Actually, I'm sure of it. Kind of hard to miss when you're pretty much sleeping with your eyes open.
This is all so distracting. Gah. I just want to be able to explain to everyone how I feel. And do what I want and not care so much what other people think or say. Sure I may get hurt, but if it's what I want, shouldn't they respect that? I know I'm acting idiotic. It's not like I'm jumping in head first, though. More like sliding in gently. I'll tread water for a bit, and if it doesn't work, I can hop out as quick as I'd like.
That was a terrible metaphor, but you get the picture.
So, today. It was alright. I need to sleep more. I guess having two amps, a box of cookies and a bunch of airheads right before bedtime isn't helping the matter. I did terribly on a French quiz, probably because I was daydreaming the entire time. Oh well.
My happy mood is fading into indifference. I really don't have all that much emotion. Unless I have those daydreams...
This is going to drive me insane. Seriously.
I don't really have all that much to say. As always, thanks to those who care. Especially Liz. You have no idea how much it means to me.
"We've only got 86 400 seconds in a day to turn it all around or throw it all away; we've gotta tell them that we love them while we've got the chance to say; gotta live like we're dying."
-Kris Allen
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