If you were on the outside looking in, you might even see me as destroying myself. Quite frankly, at this point I don't care what it looks like from the outside looking in. I'm having a good time for once in my life, and I'm not going to let anyone's petty judgments bring me down.
I can finally clear my head. All those annoying pesky little obsessive thoughts are quieted for a while. It's refreshing.
This day has definitely had its ups and downs, let alone the week.
Overall I feel a bit better. That's good, I suppose. It always helps to have people who care about you. Oh I love you guys.
I never realized how much music can affect my mood. Sad to happy. Happy to silly. Angry to sad. It's incredible. Lately I've been listening to pretty much everything. Of course..there are a few songs I can't get out of my head. I'll quote one at the end. :)
It's good to feel happy. Less stressed. Obviously I'm just putting off feeling all those other emotions. But it's nice to feel this relieved every once in a while.
Oh Owl City. You always manage to make me smile. It's like the lyrics are made just to cheer someone up whose had a bad day.
Speaking of which. Today...was pretty bad. Well not bad. More...sad. My grandmother got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I think we all saw it coming, but that doesn't make hearing it any easier. My mom broke down. I tried to console her. I feel so useless sometimes.
Life will never get easier. And it is ever changing. Tomorrow is not the same as today and never will be. This is what I remind myself.
"I am not my own; for I have been made new. Please don't let me go. I desperately need you."
-Owl City.
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