Let's fill you in.

As a basic summary, In the past few months I've lost a best friend, gained many, become more sure of myself, then less, loved, lost and have begun to move on.

Not too much you've missed...

I'm doing a lot better, confidence-wise. I feel better about myself and don't doubt my actions as much as I used to.

I'm starting to allow myself to divulge in happiness. That, of course, comes with strings attached, doesn't it? I've started to make stupid mistakes and it's beginning to catch up with me. I may be in the middle of one right now.

But hey, if you don't live with risks, what's the point of life, right? Wrong. It hurts. And I'm too naive and selfish for my own good sometimes...I need to start thinking ahead. But right now, I'm all caught up in emotion. That's not good for me. That means a full on spiral into obsession. And that, as I've learned the hard way, pushes people away more than anything.

I just wish this whole situation never existed. I want all these people to never have had any affect on me. At least that's what I'm trying to convince myself. But deep down, I know it's the biggest lie I've ever told.

I tend to think too much, and that is one of my biggest problems. That one thought spirals into a million others, and soon it's all that's on my mind, all the time. It's a vicious cycle I go through. Most often it's about getting something I want. Right now, I'm pretty confident I'm going to get what I want. What I'm most worried about is how much it'll hurt once I inevitably lose it.

Life is so complicated. It needs to have a 'simplify' button.

So, that's my update so far. I'm going to end with a quote from now on, because there are just so many that rattle through my brain 24/7.

"Hold fast to your dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly."

-Langston Hughes.