Maybe because I spent it with people who I know are genuinely interested in what I have to say. It took me out of my head for a while, that was nice.
I'm in the process of creating new friendships. I hope they'll last. They seem to be on the right path, at least. I like talking to them, it makes me feel better about my situation.
I'm still concerned with my obsessive thoughts. I cannot stop thinking about it all. People have said they're concerned for my well being, they're afraid I'm going to hurt myself. I probably am, but at this point, I'm not sure I care anymore. My goals have been set; I won't rest 'till I reach them, no matter how much self destruction I may cause in the process.
I was getting discouraged for a while there. Until tonight, I'd begun losing hope. Perhaps that was a good thing. But then you go and surprise me again, you always seem to be doing that to me.
This relationship is far from healthy. Everyone around me is screaming 'no,' but all I keep telling myself is how right it is. I know it's not. I just wish there was a way you could erase feelings. It would make life a lot easier, wouldn't it?
I need to stop being so impulsive. It's going to cause so many problems for me...
But I can't help what I want, can I?
Either way, this behavior isn't good for me. I just need to work on focusing on something else for a while. School's been doing better, surprisingly, considering all that's been on my mind lately. I've been getting terrible stress headaches, and the knots are back in my shoulders. I sound like I'm a middleaged woman. This isn't normal, is it?
I guess I should start sleeping more, if only I could. My head is so loud sometimes.
It's scary how one little thing can have so much control over you...
One more thing, I wanna say thanks to all those who bother to care about me. (You know who you are.) I keep you always in my thoughts.
"Today is gone, I'm the only light that you see. You need someone, I know all you needed was me."
-All American Rejects.
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