Let it Shine.

Remember that song, the one you'd sing in elementary school?

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine.

I remember sitting in my fourth grade choir room thinking it was the stupidest thing I'd ever had to do. But now...it doesn't seem so stupid.

My entire life has always been about other people. I always put my trust in everyone, and I am almost always let down. I never realized that the true problem was that I never put any trust in myself. Mostly because I've never really believed in myself. I'm a self-doubting person, and the fact that I rely on everyone else to make me feel better is why I am so devastated every time someone fails to realize that I am great. It takes a lot for me to say that. That simple sentence.
"I am great."
It feels like a lie at first. A very unconvincing lie. But then, I start focusing on the positive, and although it's just little steps for now, I'm realizing more and more that I am great. Anyone who doesn't see it...Well it's their loss I suppose.

It's these moments of revelation that I strive for every day.

I called The Kid's Cafe, and I'm going to start volunteering there. My mom signed me up for voice lessons and I renewed my gym membership. I'm doing these things for me. To make myself better. To feel better. To stop relying on the approval of others.

I'm taking steps. I'm letting my light shine. Slowly but surely, I'm letting it shine.