Fury.

I used to think it was just an expression, being blinded by anger. Seeing red. Now I know that it isn't.

I can tolerate a lot. In fact, I do. I rarely don't tolerate everything. But if there is one thing that I absolutely cannot, it's being lied to. Especially by you.

It's extremely difficult for me to focus right now, I'm having trouble spelling because I'm slamming on the keys. I keep having to go back and re-write things. I need to calm down, but right now I just want to do damage. I'm so angry. Infuriated, even. Not only that, but the thoughts are coming in full force; my self-doubt is being magnified to a point that I haven't seen it since middle school.

That makes it so much worse. Rage and pain. Mixed together. I want to punch something. I want to cry. I want to throw my damn computer against a wall.

The sad thing is, I won't. I won't do anything. I won't even say anything. Because you're still important to me. And it sickens me. I sicken myself.