If I Just Lay Here, Would You Lie With Me and Just Forget the World?

The future seems so far away. All the time. Senior year, college. It's all going so fast, though. I get so confused.

I used to think people were my strong suit. I used to think I could understand what they wanted. I'm starting to second guess myself more and more.
Not only that, I'm starting to compromise myself. To please other people. More and more. I hate it. I think one day, I'm going to snap.

Sometimes the weight of the world is too much for me. I'm fed up with getting mediocre grades when I know I can achieve so much more. I'm fed up with people walking all over me just because they can. I'm fed up with not being enough for anyone, including myself. I'm just so fed up.
I want to do something about it, but then it's like I get intimidated by taking the risk. What if I can't do as well as I think I can? What if I try my hardest, and still fail?

It's like this summer at the quarry. Seeing the height of that fall, I was scared as hell. I didn't show it, but I was. But imagining what it would feel like; falling long enough to think about the pure joy I was feeling; it motivated me. I ran. And I jumped. I didn't scream, I didn't even close my eyes. I just smiled. I smiled at the thought of hitting the water. And when I did..well there just aren't words for what I felt.

I just need to take that jump. But first, I want to lie here. Just feel safe for a moment longer. Brace myself for what's to come.