I'm waiting for the crash. For you to see right through me. Scream, yell, cry, whatever you'll do to show me how much of a fake I am.
But you don't.
Maybe not all secrets are bad.
Maybe, just maybe this will be okay.
God, I hope so. I don't want to lose you.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Just Let Out a Scream
Why do I feel like I did something horribly wrong?
Why do I feel the need to compromise myself in order to make myself happy?
Why do I feel angry, hurt, sad, all the time?
I can be so stupid. I do such stupid things. And I probably will never tell you.
And I am so sorry for that.
Why do I feel the need to compromise myself in order to make myself happy?
Why do I feel angry, hurt, sad, all the time?
I can be so stupid. I do such stupid things. And I probably will never tell you.
And I am so sorry for that.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Falling.
That's what it feels like.
Like I'm constantly falling. Hearing the wind whoosh around my body. Not even getting the chance to breathe. Do I even remember how? Feeling like my very essence is being left behind; pulled right out of my chest and taken up in the air while I move excruciatingly fast. I'm so scared. Terrified. Panicked. Try to think. Try to calm down. Comfort myself with a single thought.
Wherever I'm going, it has to be better than where I was.
But for now, I'm just...
Falling.
"Hey, come on try a little.
Nothing is forever.
There's got to be something better than
in the middle.
But me and Cinderella,
We put it all together.
We can drive it home..
with one headlight."
-The Wallflowers.
Like I'm constantly falling. Hearing the wind whoosh around my body. Not even getting the chance to breathe. Do I even remember how? Feeling like my very essence is being left behind; pulled right out of my chest and taken up in the air while I move excruciatingly fast. I'm so scared. Terrified. Panicked. Try to think. Try to calm down. Comfort myself with a single thought.
Wherever I'm going, it has to be better than where I was.
But for now, I'm just...
Falling.
"Hey, come on try a little.
Nothing is forever.
There's got to be something better than
in the middle.
But me and Cinderella,
We put it all together.
We can drive it home..
with one headlight."
-The Wallflowers.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Over It.
Completely and utterly done.
Onto something new.
Different.
Exciting.
Something, someone that reciprocates how I feel.
I truly wish you weren't lying when you said you wanted that for me.
I miss those nights when I could just sit and write for hours about anything but you. I'm starting to find that again. I missed that feeling. Writing for me; no one else.
It's liberating, being free of it all. I never knew it was as simple as just..letting go. And now that I have, I never want to grab back on. You don't want me? I don't, nor will I ever need you. And it feels damn good.
"Here's a letter for you.
But the words get confused,
and the conversation dies.
Apologize for the past,
talk some shit, take it back.
Are we cursed to this life?
Fuck, I can't let this kill me, let go.
I need some more time to fix this problem."
-Blink 182.
Onto something new.
Different.
Exciting.
Something, someone that reciprocates how I feel.
I truly wish you weren't lying when you said you wanted that for me.
I miss those nights when I could just sit and write for hours about anything but you. I'm starting to find that again. I missed that feeling. Writing for me; no one else.
It's liberating, being free of it all. I never knew it was as simple as just..letting go. And now that I have, I never want to grab back on. You don't want me? I don't, nor will I ever need you. And it feels damn good.
"Here's a letter for you.
But the words get confused,
and the conversation dies.
Apologize for the past,
talk some shit, take it back.
Are we cursed to this life?
Fuck, I can't let this kill me, let go.
I need some more time to fix this problem."
-Blink 182.
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