I don't know what's going on in my head. It's like this melancholy feeling. Bittersweet. But as exaggerated as it could possibly be.
On one hand, I'm euphoric. Blissfully happy. As if I've had an epiphany and nothing can stop me. As if I'm finally able to control my own life. Finally good enough.
On the other hand, I feel this constant need to cry. Like right now. I know why. Not like I'm going to tell you. But I know. This lump in my throat that comes without warning. This feeling like I have a huge hole in my chest. And I have no idea what to do with myself at those moments. Cry? Ironically, I haven't until right now. It just...hurts.
But I'm happy at the same time. Like I've discovered something. I'm so confused, I need help...I don't know what to do. My mind always wanders...
And with that comes emotion. That exuberance matched with misery and pain. It makes no sense. What the hell am I supposed to do? Someone tell me please. I'm just so lost.
"If I had my own world...
I'd build you an empire."
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